no stopping

it had to happen

2007-10-01T07:10:00.000+01:00

ok, let's face it: it wasn't going that well. first, i kinda quit the scene. then, i find out that there is another jeenio right here: http://www.last.fm/user/jeenio/

ok, let the kid have it. the nickname - it's yours.

i like being exclusive on this matter - like in other matters as well - so i decided not to use the nickname jeenio anymore.

which means: goodbye.

pensamentos e punhetas

2007-09-18T02:04:00.000+01:00

estes excertos são provenientes de duas crónicas de Alexandre O'Neill, encontradas no livro "Uma Coisa em Forma de Assim", publicado no mesmo ano em que nasci.

"O solitário sobe e desce pelo tempo a seu bel-prazer. Fala o menos possível. Entrou na abstinência sexual e só de longe em longe se permite «esgaramantear uma laustríbia», como dizia, sem étimos aparentes, o Mário Ramiro. O solitário está nas suas sete quintas, quer dizer, nos sete dias da sua semana, dias que entram pelas noites, que lividamente se confundem com os dias. (...) O exílio interior pressupõe um corte total com os meandros por onde se movimentam os chamados carreiristas, sempre prontos à transigência. (...) O exílio interior pede uma grande força de ânimo (e um nojo não menor), a alimentação constante de um ideal, um amor sem limites à verdade, o afrontar corajoso de uma envolvente solidão, um elevado espírito de sacrifício. O exílio interior tem algo parecido com a atitude mental dos místicos: o abandono dos pactos com este mundo mundanal para a preservação de um único: o pacto com Deus. O exílio interior (...) é o comportamento coerente que se oferece a quem, rodeado pela adversidade, teima em preservar o pequeno núcleo que faz, fará com que um dia possamos - nós, os pactuantes - dizer aquela pessoa."

além de assentar que nem uma luva na minha situação presente (trocar Deus por vida), contém a expressão "esgaramentear a laustríbia", que acho deliciosa.

for whom it may concern

2007-09-03T23:07:00.000+01:00

as ps stated on his evoke report people were asking around where was i during this summer's demoparties. well, i was away from the demoscene, as much as possible. i have some personal reasons to do so, but all my friends from spain till finland, don't worry, i didn't forget you. you are still on my heart. it's just... it's time to take a break.

mainly, there are some personal issues, but i also have the feeling that i'm not being taken serious as a musician inside the demoscene. sure, i played with ultrasound and bass, and i was dead serious about it. but somehow... it isn't worth the incredible ammount of effort we put in it every year.

also, i imagine that people don't really listen to the kind of music i make for the scene. that's how i started, as a musician, and later i was a scene superstar as entertainer (we'll get to that) but my favorite thing to do here is demos. and i created a lot of groups, mainly portuguese, to try to make something. unfortunately, it never worked.

my daily job is music, i'm a professional musician, and somehow i can't make it in the scene. and i hate to come to a party just to present a joke prod, sing the same scene tunes with the guitar and get piss drunk. done that, bought the t-shirt(s). i feel stuck.

about being party host: i've done that twice at breakpoint, and last time was a real nightmare. funnily enough, i had the feeling that it was going to be great, because i didn't have any scene music act to prepare, so all i had to do was drink beer and say amusing stuff on stage. BUT... somehow i felt stupid because no-one was telling me what was going to happen, and you know, i dont speak german, so there's this huge language barrier that prevents me from aknowledging certain things. well... i'm not sure what happened, all i know is that i was several times on stage and had NO IDEA of what was going on. yes, i might have been drinking just a tad too much, but still...

so, i will not come to parties in the near future, but don't worry, i still like to travel :) i'll meet you in a way or another. if you have questions, don't hesitate in contacting me.

weight loss plan (WLP) #327 - Day 0

2007-09-03T22:59:00.000+01:00

before giving up, the scales told me i was 92.3 Kg heavy. yesterday, at my parent's the scales said 96 Kg. it's a huge difference. tomorrow i will buy a new one, those kind of heavy duty ones, that can support fat asses like me.

from tomorrow on, i shall eat properly, drink less alcohol and make more exercise.

oh, and by the way, actually it's not the 327th time i try to do it. i did try some times in the past, but it weren't that many. i was just being a tad dramatic...

gostas-te?

2007-09-03T22:24:00.000+01:00

normalmente o povo português tem a mania de utilizar a lei do menor esforço em tudo e mais alguma coisa na vida. seria de esperar o mesmo no que toca à língua portuguesa. mas então, isto não faz sentido:

- porquê adicionar o hífen nas formas verbais da 2a pessoa do pretérito perfeito? além de transformar o sentido da palavra, DÁ TRABALHO.

ok, não será muito trabalho, mas devíamos estar a simplificar e não a complicar.

qualquer dia, temos todas as palavras acabadas em "te" com um hífen. por exemplo, bacamar-te, espadar-te, mar-te (o planeta) e o meu favorito xeque-ma-te (gosto de palavras com dois hífens, como far-se-á e o dar-se-á) e vão ter de mudar o teclado português para ter duas teclas hífen..... no caso de uma se gastar...

acabo com la pièce de resistance:

"acabei de chegar ao fim deste jogo."
"fizes-te bem"

you know you are overweight when...

2007-09-03T21:46:00.000+01:00

... you sit on the computer stool to check your emails and the stool brakes
... your girlfriend prefers to be on top
... your scales stop working (last known value: 92.3 Kg)
... you have to stretch your neck in order to see your genitalia

i have to do something about this.

how to recognize a good life from a long way away

2007-07-21T21:35:00.000+01:00

well, not really a long way away, though sometimes i feel like i'm outside from myself, but that's a different story - no, nothing about drugs...

sometimes we don't realize how lucky we are with the life we have. blame the problems we find during our life time. but those problems are NOTHING if you compare them with other people's, right? wrong. they are part of your reality, and they have their value. it's up to you to decide how much importance you give to them and how fast can you solve them.

i'm so happy today after a great bike ride and a good rehearsal in the theatre that my problems aren't important. not today. who knows about the day of tomorrow, right? but for now, i choose to be happy and enjoy this moment the best i can.

this is the good life. aaaahhhh!.... :)

euskal blues

2007-06-08T16:06:00.000+01:00

i'm not going because i don't like it. it's a long journey, lots of money needed and there's barely any scene spirit present, which is why i like going to demoparties. yeah, sure, being 20 hours with my "friends" sounds rather nice, but maybe we can go and camp somewhere, it's cheaper and i prefer.

no, really, i know i'm mixing different stuff here. one thing is the absence of scene spirit and the other one is the vote disqualification. ok, i give you that. so what? 2 bad things that make me not want to go.

all the others, please enjoy and have fun. and don't bug me anymore about it.

requiem

2007-06-01T02:29:00.000+01:00

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Lacrimosa dies illa,
qua resurget ex favilla
judicandus home reus.

Huic ergo parce, Deus,
pie Jesu, Jesu Domine!
Dona eis, eis requiem!

Amen.

wizard of oz

2007-06-01T02:20:00.000+01:00

"we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz..."

just like sometimes, when you think things should work out by itself, and they don't, you wish you could visit a wizard that would fix everything. just push some knobs, pull some levers, and it's done.

unfortunately, that's not the way it goes. there's no wizard, there's no good witch of the north, there's no ruby slippers and we're definitely not having a bad dream. sorry for being blunt there, but if we keep on living the way we are, neglecting the near apoccalypse that is coming towards us, we'll be in deep shit soon.

ok, maybe i'm overreacting and all i need is some vacations and rest. but i tell you, next month (july) i will try to lose some weight.

considerações sobre o apêndice

2007-05-15T22:55:00.000+01:00

o apêndice manifesta-se em força, mais inesperadamente do que se supunha, sem dar hipótese. o que pensava serem sintomas de todo o tipo de outras coisas, eram na verdade sintomas premonitórios do que para aí vinha.

a princípio, é uma ligeira dor. penso que consigo controlar, que é possível continuar como se nada fosse. a minha rotina não se altera, tento pensar noutras coisas para me abstrair. mas já não dá. começa a bater forte. sempre que se manifesta, cai o carmo e a trindade. parece que não há solução, não vai haver solução nunca.

às vezes penso que o melhor é acabar com tudo de uma vez por todas. corta-se, e já está. acabou-se a dor, acabou-se o apêndice, acabou-se a tortura e o sofrimento. parece que qualquer coisa que eu faça vai piorar o estado das coisas, e isso não me sai da cabeça. é como ter um altifalante colado ao ouvido a repetir sempre a mesma coisa.

a sensação de impotência é imensa. posso gritar, berrar, chorar, e a única coisa que vai acontecer é isto agravar-se. no entanto, se não fizer nada, parece que estou acomodado com a situação. e não estou. não estou mesmo. estou a sofrer, e queria que isto fosse embora.

tenho esperanças que desapareça, pura e simplesmente, sem esforço. como se nunca tivesse existido. como se por qualquer motivo houvesse uma quebra no contínuo espaço-tempo e as coisas fossem diferentes. era mais fácil de lidar com isto, podíamos ter alguma perspectiva.

bolas.

e para quem pensa que tenho apendicite, agradeço a preocupação, mas não é bem isso.

working sunday #742

2007-05-13T13:50:00.000+01:00

yesterday my girlfriend went to New York, which gave me a bit more spare time to arrange things at the studio. after not having slept the previous night, i spent the whole day yesterday in the studio, first working in the arrangement of the wizard of oz, and then working out the wireless systems my guitar player and me are going to use in radar's concert next saturday.

today we have rehearsal and i have to resume working in the wizard of oz. so, nothing special.

(ah, so this is what it feels to write a daily blog. inform the world of what you are/were doing, even if it's the most uninteresting thing. cool!)

this is not a blog

2007-05-09T16:09:00.000+01:00

of course it is. but it's not a log, in the original sense of the word. and the closest it gets to a diary it's because it's where i vent my mental diarrhea.

funny thing is, people all around the world browse blogs, find them through google or live, and then they are interested or not. well, i don't really care. if you don't know me personally, that's ok, but don't go and argue about what you don't know, ok?

anyway, for those who do know me, here's a new visual and hopefully some more articles. right? right...

português vs. english

2007-05-09T16:06:00.000+01:00

this useless post is here for one sole reason: to announce that i will continue writing in english and portuguese. some things are not funny if i translate them to english, while others don't make sense in portuguese. so... bear with it.

iMove(d)

2007-03-20T12:29:00.000Z

hello world!

i just moved to a new place, together with Inês. we got internet last week so we are again online with the world. which is nice.

also, my music studio is ready. as soon as i have pictures i will post them here.

it had to happen one day...

2007-01-21T23:22:00.000Z

i'm on youtube. and no-one asked if i wanted to... oh well, that's actually ok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezhpBiRF6aA

browsing through the spam folder #1

2007-01-11T00:11:00.000Z

doesn't matter the content of the message, i just love the title:

"Must be fit, have nice face to get Chinese baby"

basically, this tells us a lot. one should maintain a good appearance in order to be delivered a new-born from China. with good appearance, they mean a healthy body, with good levels of stamina and a "nice face" which i fail to understand if they mean a "happy face" or a "clean, wrinkle-free and bright face". still, the message is quite clear: only the best prepared get the child.

i must read the spam more often.

título de uma notícia no Público

2007-01-10T09:45:00.000Z

vinha assim:

"Top nacional: Tony Carreira destrona 4 Taste"

já me estragou, obviamente, a manhã. não por ser afecto aos 4 taste ou não gostar, especificamente, do tony carreira. simplesmente por saber que os 4 taste JÁ estiveram no top e AGORA o tony carreira está lá. não sei, mas não me cai bem. andré sardet, onde estás?

sole has quit the scene

2007-01-01T05:49:00.000Z

it was a month ago that sole wrote this on her website. i was flooded with work and couldn't check the intarwebs so often. i remember ps telling me something about it, but i didn't know i was mentioned in the post!

quoting:

I saw the most ridiculous namevoting of my life on euskal06, thanks to the acts of some apparently respected sceners such as ps, evil and jeenio. While they tried to excuse themselves with “we had to pay the gas for coming to the party” it never sounded as a real excuse to what was an absolute shame. I felt, and still feel, quite deceived with that, even if they have excused themselves and said sorry several times.

This is not the scene I like.

this reply is rather late, and i wonder if sole is EVER going to read it, but still i would like to retort. well, where should i start?

first things first: this is a personal blog, so i'm allowed to be bloody personal about this. we made a mistake. we said sorry. like in "sorry, we won't do it again. promise!" we will figure out other ways to attend far away parties... but you don't seem to accept our apologies. well, you have that right. but that says a lot about you, doesn't it?

thing is... i read the post completely (i consider myself too in the category of "jodedores de la escena" because i like to drink at demoparties and i LOVE to be called "puta, puta, jeenio jeenio puta" when i'm on stage) and i understand why you are disappointed with the demoscene. like loads of people were when directx came, or [insert any other argument that feeds the "scene is dead" meme here] so you are not alone. the demoscene is not for everyone. but let me tell you one thing, sole: the demoscene IS for you. i give you a couple of months before we are making another co-op and releasing it at a demoparty :)

i felt hurt that sole didn't forgive us. in the beginning, somehow, and without noticing, i really start liking that small spanish girl. when i first met her at breakpoint i was fascinated by her, i guess because of the contrast shy/funny - people who know her know what i'm talking about - and i was very happy when we did a co-op together with ps and nogsf , cause then i also started admiring her for her musical taste and technique. this personal connection didn't develop any further than nice talks over a couple of beers and some instant messaging, i guess there are a thousand reasons for that but i don't wanna speculate about it now. what i'm trying to say is that it seems like sole has quit the scene because of shitty stuff that happens and she doesn't want to relate to that people anymore.

This is not the scene I like

yeah... the scene you like is back in 1993. i'm sorry, sole, again. but why can't you put it behind your back? ok, there are all the other stuff too, but for those i can't speak. still...

anyway, this is not a "please sole don't quit the scene kthxbye!!1" but more of a "damn i'm really pissed and sorry that this happened. wish it hadn't, but that's life" sort of thingie. sole, i DO hope that you come to breakpoint so we can speak face to face about this. otherwise, you won't ever come back... have a nice life. i will still booze at demoparties, enjoying the scene as it is, with all its problems and stupid(e)ities. and there will always one person missing...

2007

2007-01-01T00:17:00.000Z

it's good as an excuse as any other thing. the changing of year brings new phases in the goals reaching process. with no specific order, let's see:

- this year i really want to lose weight. i'm on the 94Kg region, i'd like to be somewhere around 80Kg
- i want to settle things with Inês. really. like, for better or worse, as we don't know what future brings.
- friends. best thing in the world. i don't have many, but the ones i have are top notch. i want to spend more time with them, preferably sober.
- my music studio is almost ready. 2007 will be the first year that i will ALL the conditions to make music the way that i always wanted. so, i really want to make good music this year.
- internet... person of the year 2006, when i run out of time i don't even pay attention to it. i want to listen to more independent radio via netlabels and netradio, i wanna check myspace more often, read more blogs, be in touch with the rest of the world.
- but for that i need time. i want to work less, so i can have more free time to dedicate to increase my life quality.

and that's it... call it new year's resolutions, if you please. 2006 was an awesome year - except the last 2, 3 weeks - and i hope this next one will be as great as the last one.

and for you too. thank you for reading.

thanks, filipe, but...

2006-12-26T20:44:00.000Z

... despite your nice intention i'm not so fond of chocolate. thanks again. everything will be ok - eventually.

disastrous

2006-12-25T17:35:00.000Z

... that's how this year's christmas was for me. really.

i feel totally empty inside. it seems that in a way or another, there will always be stuff to make things worse when you are already in a bad trip. and to make things worse, that stuff comes from people that you don't expect.

of course, it could always be worse. someone could've died, or accidents could've happened. none of that happened. it's just... after my girlfriend and i broke up last week, i thought i could find here something to cheer up. but no... it's all a mess.

...

merry christmas to you too.

free downloadable music tabs and sheets will be illegal

2006-12-23T17:15:00.000Z

These guys are committed to put an end to all those sites with free tabs and music sheet. So that the artists' children won't starve to death. You be the judge.

Pulp Fiction - short version

2006-12-23T07:36:00.000Z

i'm speechless... watch for yourself.

ok, it's enough. bring the summer back. please.

2006-12-23T05:29:00.000Z

come to Lisbon, where it's always warm.

2006-12-23T05:19:00.000Z

taken from Lapa Palace - i didn't get paid for the advertisement:

"Take a two-day break. Fly to Lisbon. The weather is warm, we have long sandy beaches, wonderful summer concerts, or you can just relax at our poolside or have an open air massage in our gardens."

yes, i guess that if we compare to siberia or antarctica, 2ºC is quite warm. yes.

thing is: it's bloody freezing for me. this isn't what i was promised, when i came from the netherlands. really, there has been some mistake. bring the temperate zone back, kthxbye.

pp: Brian May and Roger Taylor stayed at this hotel when they played over here. just so you know.

aren't they lovely?

2006-12-22T17:29:00.000Z

For more pictures, go to Ghaudi's blog.

i feel old

2006-12-22T01:08:00.000Z

this is what came up today when i tried to view my blogger profile:

i know i haven't slept properly for a while ago, nor eaten wisely, but c'mon, i can't be that old. let's see:

if my birthday is still on the same day, i was born on the 29th December, 1756. this is quite remarkable, as it is the same year as Mozart. i would have lived through dozens of wars, diseases, artistic style changes and different kinds of pastry.

ok, it's silly. forget about it.

UPDATE: i checked my profile data, and there was indeed 1756 as birth year. then maybe - ONLY MAYBE - i put that myself. for fun. which makes this post completely useless. but then again, blogging shouldn't be useful.

vacations!

2006-12-19T04:43:00.000Z

finally here! 4 movies in 24 hours, awake until 5 am, playing with the cats for hours and hours... ah the good life.

the show must go on

2006-12-12T18:10:00.000Z

... my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die.
I can fly, my friends...

THIS FRIDAY I WILL PLAY IN VILA NOVA DE GAIA WITH MY QUEEN TRIBUTE BAND! GO AND SEE IT!

ESTA SEXTA-FEIRA VOU TOCAR COM A MINHA BANDA DE TRIBUTO AOS QUEEN EM VILA NOVA DE GAIA! IDE VER!

Where: Pavilhão Municipal de Vila Nova de Gaia (EN222)
When: This Friday, 15th December, 21h30
How much: I heard it's between 3 and 5 euros.

getting wiser...

2006-10-30T22:42:00.000Z

today i have bad news. my last-to-grow wisdom teeth is being a pain in the ass. or, better saying, in the mouth. it hurts quite a lot, which is a surprise, the other ones didn't hurt. so... i'm in pain. but inside, i feel wiser.

on a side note, here is my agenda for november:

10 - concert with quorum ballet, arhus, denmark
17 - concert with radar, muralhas bar, alcabideche
24 - tribute concert to queen / freddie mercury in vila nova de gaia

my teeth hurts...

where do we go from here?

2006-10-22T08:40:00.000+01:00

thing is, either you like it or not, there's no pause button in life. this ain't a friggin podcast. once you download your life, you have to do it until the end. sure, sometimes the link is broken or the download fails for one reason or another, but unfortunately there's no resume function.

or, in another perspective, it's like a stream of water. it starts in the mountain, goes all the way down to sea, and that's it. you can try to build dams, but sooner or later the water WILL flow.

or something.

anyway, where do we go from here? we have hours, cars, computers, airplanes, shopping malls, frozen pizzas, cell phones - man, we do have loads of cell phones - and we are unhappier than 100 years ago. at least that's what the studies show. why can't we be happy? we worked so much to get here, and all we think is the next step. we just put the man on the moon and now we are trying to build houses there. btw, did you buy already your piece of the moon?

what are we supposed to do anyway? yeah yeah, improve ourselves, adapt to the environment, produce children. or was it adapt to children, improve the environment and produce ourselves? well it doesn't matter anyway, the distorted values from this society are fucking up everyone and everything. one day you think that you are doing ok, the next week you see your life down the drain.

sure i like peace and quiet, but i can't sit all day. i need to get up and do things. i need to say what i need to say. it's like breathing, i need to get as much in as out.

one thing's for sure, though. it's way to early/late to be posting this. "where do we go from here?", well, a quick nap and then work!

uzi #2

2006-10-22T08:33:00.000+01:00

i would like the following groups of people to die a terrible death:

- people who don't keep right while driving on the highway (except in uk, australia, japan and the other lefties)
- people who discrimante others because they have a different believe, skin colour, education or income
- people who lie to others just because they can
- people who don't respect others just because they can't

princes of the universe

2006-10-18T13:28:00.000+01:00

... it's Queen week this week.

Here we are, born to be kings
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers

Hey...
And here we are
We're the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We've come to be the rulers of your world

Oh!
I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings (Yeah, yeah!)
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of new earth

Born to be kings, princes of the universe
Fighting and free, got your world in my hand
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand
We were born to be princes of the universe
No man could understand
My power is in my own hand

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
People talk about you
People say you've had your day
I'm a man that will go far
Fly the moon and reach for the stars
With my sword and head held high
Got to pass the test first time, yeah
I know that people talk about me
I hear it every day
But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time
Yeah yeah

Alright, let's go, let's go
Haha!
Yeh...watch this man fly
Bring on the girls
C'mon C'mon C'mon!

Here we are (here we are)
Born to be kings, we're princes of the universe
Here will we belong

Born to be kings, princes of the universe
Fighting and free, got your world in my hand
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand
We were born to be princes of the universe

"rain must fall"

2006-10-18T00:52:00.000+01:00

... it's a song by Queen, from the album "The Miracle". Here goes an excerpt:

"You lead a fairy tale existance
But into every life a little rain must fall"

Sure it must fall. It's a natural phenomenon, it will happen sooner or later. All I can do is build a house and cover myself and my family, so we won't get wet. Rain is good. It is a generator of life. But so is the sun. I don't want my entire life to be sunny, nor I dislike rain, it's just that once you build something you kinda get attached to it and if you really love it you will defend it like a castle in the middle of a battle. I don't want rain IN MY CASTLE. I don't understand why is that so hard to understand. I'm not stupid, I get all of it. Really, I do.

And if my castle is just one of those taken out from a fairy tale, then let me live my dream. Hey, maybe I'm sharing this dream with someone else who wants to take part in it. For heaven's sake, let us be happy. If you want to live in a wet, dark and long cave, do it. I will come by sometime to visit you. But don't make everyone get stuck there.

Finally, if you decide to take over my castle and spell your dark rain upon it, I will be forced to fight you with my brightest sunshine and funky rays, tearing those clouds and drying that rain. A bit like St Martin's summer.

Only warmer.

i'm tired...

2006-10-09T13:10:00.000+01:00

"analogue interference / glenz was planned as a co-minimalartifact release but after accusations of credit snatching, its officially _not_ a minimalartifact production. it's just listed here couz i was involved somehow and it follows the dark and long minimalistic and abstract vein." Link

"- 060730 -
euskal 06 had a 64k code remixed by me, an mp3 entry and possibly the soundtrack to the winning wild demo (if jeenio now lets me take credit for having used my track as base for his work)" Link

you know, filipe, i'm kinda tired of this bullshit. and i don't feel like discussing it anymore. just a few thoughts, though:

- you ARE credited on a.i., and you ARE part of glenz. and glenz is a group...
- ... a group is two or more elements. minimalartifact isn't a group, it's a handle. so stfu.
- i SO regret all the shit at euskal. really, i do. specially competing with "lisbon revisited", specially because it did win - even if it was relegated then to 2nd place - and even there you ARE credited. again, stfu and stop bothering my peaceful reading of your website!!!

i'm tired of this. certainly it has been enough. from now on, i'm will not compete in any demoparty with any co-op. ok? fuckings to prize money for ruining compos...

btw: nice sketches :)

etiquetas/labels

2006-09-27T20:39:00.000+01:00

hum... i was labeled yesterday. by my very own girlfriend.

first of all, the only kind of labels i like are the netlabels, so i won't waste my time telling that kind of stuff about myself on the internet. if you are truly interested in those, you either already know them or you never will, right?

second, why did i came third in that list?

third, i don't really have friends, so who cares?

fourth, why all these sentences are questions?

fifth, i'm not in a bad mood, i really believe that anyone can write whatever about themselves in a blog, but shouldn't "force" others to do the same. i don't mind telling some things in the www, but i don't like the suggestion of it. if i want to post those kind of things, i just do it out of my free will. got it?

...

before it was only the chained emails where we had to tell what time it was, what we were dressing and how long was the last time we took a dump. now it's this. c'mon, how about some new stuff, like semi-pornographic videos of yourself dancing to hip-hop?

yo soy un fonero!

2006-09-17T13:16:00.000+01:00

as you may have noticed, i redesigned this blog and inserted a nice orange circle. if you click on it, you will be redirected to fon.com, the webpage of the largest wifi community in the world. basically, it works like this:

- you get yourself broadband at home or business
- you buy from fon.com a VERY cheap wifi router - 5 eur + 10 eur shipping
- you share your broadband connection with the world
- you get free access to EVERY fon access point in THE PLANET

it encourages people to get broadband, stimulating the ISP's market and lowering the prices. AND it gives you internet worldwide. the web is suddenly around the corner!

pp (post post, as in post scriptum, but funnier) : for the portuguese speaking people, this is funny. i just found out that google translates "web" to "correia fotorreceptora ". try it for yourself!

agenda

2006-09-13T23:37:00.000+01:00

hola!

just a quick note to inform you of my public musical appearances (concerts, in english) which will take place in the near future.

september

30 - live music for "getting up", dance piece by quorum ballet. campo maior

october

1 - same as above. praça luís de camões, lisboa
6 - tribute to queen. beja
20 - radar concert. muralhas bar, alcabideche

and, of course, i'm playing piano every day for dance classes. come and listen to me - or maybe not - at conservatorio nacional.

i'm gonna pull a ps now...

2006-09-09T14:31:00.000+01:00

... and say that i'm tired of everything, everyone and everywhere. i just threw a glass in the wall - yeah, it shattered and i had to pick up the pieces and trash it - so that means i'm not doing 100% fine after all.

in andere nieuws, ik mis heel erg van jullie in nederland. ik denk altijd aan rotterdam, de maas, de mensen, arnhem, rbi, 303f, limp ninja... de enige ding dat was de eerste reden dat ik terug heeft gekomen, is nu weg - of het lijks zo. dus, misschien kom ik terug? weet ik niet. oh, en excuses voor mijn nederlands, het is een beetje weg - was het echt in eingelijk? :)

demoscene

2006-09-09T14:09:00.000+01:00

as a part of my life, demoscene has been a wonderful sub-culture in a community of same-minded people who work closely and passionately. the moment that i feel it deviating from that, i'm really off.

the euskal episode - with us, portuguese sceners, making some transparent name voting and being disqualified - really reminded me of the first editions of inerciademoparty. not in size, of course. and not exactly in namevoting. i guess namevoting will always be there, except if prods would be anonymous and not able to contain credits - which sucks; credits are nice - so that's not what reminded me. what stroke me, not at first, but later, was the fact that on inerciademoparty we too had to disqualify prods - either for copyright issues, or simply because it didn't follow the rules - and we always thought of being 100% fair with the participants. well, it wasn't written in the rules that namevoting wasn't allowed. and besides, if i think evil's tune is good, i have the right - and the duty - to vote for it.

not being able to attend evoke and buenzli had a greater impact on me than it should. shit happens, and sometimes you just fuck up things a bit. it's all my fault if i didn't attend those two parties. but, incredibly, i got really really sad for not attending, specially evoke which - sorry unlock! - really kicked ass last year and was, till date, one of the best demoparties i attended so far. and i thought to myself that this sadness comes either because i miss the people or i miss the exposure.

or maybe a little bit of both. i invited myself to be this year's bcnparty host. apparently, they took the suggestion - or maybe not :). scamp told me, at the end of breakpoint this year, that he would like me to host the party again in 2007. and the question is: do i like this exposure? and do i need it to go on?

one of the things that bothers me most is that i really want to be a scener. let me explain: only attending parties, or hosting, or playing live gigs, that only doesn't make me a scener. it makes me someone completely into it, even charished (!) by sceners. but a scener is a creative mind who PRODUCES demos, intros, gfx, music, whatever. and lately i haven't been doing any demo music. why? i dunno. i'm not really into that "i need a group who wants to hire me?" bullshit and the groups i'm in are a bit... well... self-suficient.

i really miss working in the music for a demo. the team work. the deadlines. the bugs. i haven't had that since last year's great (!) gabriela disko experiment 7005. and even though it as a joke prod, it really meant a lot to me being there, working close with Gargaj and ps - and Rup, but we don't speak about him, not since the accident - and i felt like a scener again. after that, it was only joke prods, videos, small music contributions... not a real production, with design, with goals, with serious ambitions.

i guess it will take a while before mfx or farbrausch or any other mega-group take me into their custody, first because there are a lot of talented musicians out there and second i'm not that great digital composer, so i won't hope for that kind of stuff. instead, i will stop make joke prods under my name and concentrate on quality delivery, either as a independent music maker, or as a independent film maker.

so, it almost sounds like i don't need the demoscene for anything! i can release my tunes outside parties - that's maybe good, i fear the preselection drama - and the short videos can also be release in small venues here in town. there are loads of tiny places with short festivals, so that could be an option.

and if it goes to pouet.net - a place that i don't visit for almost 2 weeks, intentionally that is - so be it. but apparently, i don't need the scene no more.

so why did it hurt so much not going to evoke? isn't that weird? maybe i really miss the people, the ambience, the collective mind of sceners working in their productions, or just having a beer and talking about future crew. i dunno, there must be more than that.

or maybe not.

website

2006-08-18T05:11:00.000+01:00

i need to make a website. i've tried many things in the past, simple text, basic html with frames, javascript, flash... i'm sure i could make something nice. i just don't know where to start.

i want to post some of my music and videos, and also some projects i want people to participate. it will be a simple website, informative, with a fresh and sober design. or so i hope.

i never coded php - i actually wanted to learn - so maybe there's my chance.

anyway... maybe i should go to bed. got concert tomorrow and i'm still awake! O_o wtf!?

uzi #1

2006-08-18T05:06:00.000+01:00

(this post is the first one of straightforward rantings about everything and everyone.)

- i hate being told to do something that i know that i have to do and was already in the process of doing.
- i hate when someone walks past you and looks with the side of their eyes. if they want to look how at me or my clothes or my hair look directly.
- i hate when someone stares at me.
- i hate being awake at 5am knowing that i will be tired the next day.
- i hate sundays, specially the day before (saturdays) because then we know that the next day is the last day of the weekend and that the day after that we have to go to work.
- i hate people that hate everything they think of.

so... what's the point?

2006-08-07T12:16:00.000+01:00

basically, i would like to transfer my rantings from sites like pouet.net or jorge & inês to here. not that i rant much, but when i do, i really do.

it will also be a place to post my musical diarrheas... errr... ideas. i still have to find a place to host them - i don't think scene.org is really a place to host my stuff - but that will come soon. if you have a great idea - no, myspace.com is not an option - please write it on the comments section.

oh, by the way, i'm a bit against the use of capitals. that's why i write the "i"'s with lowercase. this doesn't mean that ONE DAY I DECIDE TO WRITE ALL IN CAPITALS, Or eVeN iN Str4nger wAyz. just ask if you don't understand something, ok?

have fun.